Saturday arrives and I realise I have no food in the house. I have to go to the local supermarket with all the children!!
Knowing I have to do this, I add going to the supermarket to my boys daily routine in the kitchen, bedroom and add it to their now & next charts. I get them round the table and write a list of what we need together so they feel like they are involved.
Right we are ready, kids in the car - check, list written - check, change of clothes in the boot in case of an accident - check, their now & next charts - check.
I'm driving down the road and realise in trying to be so organised I've forgotten my bag with my purse!! I'm so silly
So I have to turn around, in doing so Zach starts rocking in his chair ( first signs of him about to have a meltdown) I'm getting flustered because I know what's about to happen. I tell him verbally mummy's forgotten her purse and have to go back. Zach doesn't understand - more so because when I am flustered I tend to speak really fast which most normal people don't understand me so there is no way my autistic son with very little understanding will comprehend what is going on.
He starts kicking the chair, and starts screaming in rhyme, Zav starts crying and Zi is pressing the window lock on & off. I feel like a volcano is about to erupt in my head but I calmly continue home to get my purse. We eventually get to the supermarket with 20mins of screaming in rhyme, crying, and pressing the window lock.
With all my soldiers holding onto Zans buggy we walk into the supermarket. I am stressed beyond belief but I keep my head focused on the mission at hand, so we can be in and out.
I glimpse a friend, she see's me with the kids and runs off down another aisle acting like she never saw us. I am a little confused, but then remember the last time I saw her was at her daughters birthday party that me and the kids were invited to. Zach followed her cat around and scared it half to death and then attempted to eat its food. Zav decided he wanted to show me their fish but because I was so busy talking he took the fish out the tank and literally brought it to me cupped in his hands. So I could understand why she wanted to pretend she didn't see me.
We get all the shopping and on the way to the tills we see a store cleaner, mopping up a spillage and places a yellow a board, to let people know the floor is wet and be careful . Zach always has the urge to fall on the sign , get up, fall again continually. At this point a gentleman walks past and tuts very loudly at me and the kids. I manage to pull Zach away, and get to the tills. Zach ain't happy because I've taken him away from his fun so he starts flapping, Zav is mad because he wants chocolates and I say no, and Zi has managed to pick up a pack of sweets opened it and started eating them!!!!!
Very very wound up at this point, we are at the checkout next to the tutting gentleman. Zach is chanting tree fu tom phrases and doing all the moves to go with it, Zavi is now flapping, and humming quite loudly and Zi is covering his ears and rocking.
The tutting gentleman turns and says to me 'shut your kids up' I just ignore him. He goes on to say 'look at you, you can't even control one child, and you went on to have more your pathetic' my blood is boiling but I calmly say back to him ' were you born your age, was you never a child?'
' I was but my mum knew how to control me, your a crap mother'
The volcanoes erupted in my head, and I just burst into tears. How dare you say I'm a crap mother, you don't know me. I'm a great mum, my sons have autism. I thought in my head but I couldn't get the words out I was sobbing so much. He continued to verbally assault me for about 5mins. Thankfully all the other people around me were all sticking up for me and telling him he was wrong. In the end a security guard asked him to leave the store.
I shouldn't have to keep my sons locked up at home with the fear of not knowing how they are going to behave. Yes the things that they do may not be considered normal. But nobody has the right to judge me because they don't act normal. I shouldn't have to walk around with a sign saying my children have autism.
I wish and pray everybody becomes more aware about autism and the effects it has on family's.
I now avoid going to the supermarket on busy days with the children, for their sake.